MOPED ARMY

i once watched star wars episodes one to six in a single sitting. true story. it was one of the more disgusting days of my life.

boycott chipotle on 19th and Capitol! their "tip jar" looks deceptively like a "take-a-penny tray."

...I tell her how her apron matches her eyes. Then I start complaining loudly about where my male heir is whilst simultaneously tapping my beer with my fork to indicate I'd like another.

Sext: I tighten my diaper. The Stone Cold Steve Austin theme plays. A willow tree sways in the wind. A grandma wishes someone would call her