update: I took kissyman to NOLA and rode around with some Smoggies, I think the piston ring stuck to the piston in the hot southern streets, it died just after we passed through the french quarter and wouldn't start back up. At the same stop sign within seconds of kissyman dying Zach's Moby's variator bearing seizes and screeches to a halt, leaving his bike in GO mode (can't stop once started). We pullover to the sidewalk and are assessing the situation and a gust of wind knocked over Rachel's Puch and destroyed the throttle tube. 3 bikes down within seconds, pretty laughable. A literal saint was watching the situation unfold from the sidewalk and offered us all ice cold waters and commended us for "keeping them old thangz in the street". MONO clan came and rescued us with a truck and we BBQ'd into the night.
long story short I'm kitting my bike (edited)