Reminds me of Columbo's car. You need an old trench coat and a big cigar. In this instance, a cigar is just a cigar. (Not that there's anything wrong with that)
And if anyone ever picks on you...
I hired a prostiute and met her at a hotel. As I got undressed, she pointed at my dick and said, "Who do you think you are going to please with that little thing?"
"Me," I replied.