I hear what you’re saying. I get it.
My grandmother was as big a racist, homophobic, conservative right wing Christian you could ever meet. And she was short tempered, rude and mean. Chapel couldn’t write a better character.
Life made her that way. I won’t bore with details. And the reality of her “choice” to be different was nearly impossible at best.
I loved that woman. I tolerated her for her good cooking when I was a little kid. As a man, I saw the behavior that layers of scars produces and I loved her even more for it.
IF she was a major political or community leader, I’d say we would have needed to shut grandma up and take away her keys. But, sitting at her dining room table, chain smoking, saying outdated nonsense didn’t hurt anyone. My aunts and uncles all learned to be better, more tolerant people because of it.
I’d rather hold the hand of the old and dying as the suns sets on their generation. As their ideas go to rest with them. Calmly coming into a new age. Not pissing on their graves and perpetuating thoughts and actions of hate and non-acceptance.